Violent Torpedo of Truth
Starring: Charlie Sheen
Costarring: The Goddesses
Charlie Sheen brought his Violent Torpedo of Truth to Everett, WA, USA last week on May 3, 2011. The show uses an unstructured format, so very little was known beforehand about what to expect. Basically, it was just Charlie Sheen doing whatever he felt like. Of course, it was filled with lots of Charlie Sheen sayings like "Winning" and "Warlock" and "Adonis DNA" and "Tiger's blood". There were funny parts as well as lots of not-so-funny parts.
In all truth, it was like watching 90 minutes of Charlie Sheen's recent news and sound clips. Apparently, whatever mystic knowledge Charlie possesses has already been summarized on TMZ, Entertainment Tonight, and all those other TV shows I don't watch. It was no Two and a Half Men, that's for sure. In fact, a would have enjoyed a special concert by Charlie Waffles* with a bunch of little kids wearing their big boy britches for the first time.
By all accounts, the most interesting part was the giant screen above the stage. They would scan the audience from time to time and there were a couple of women who would flash their healthy tops and start making out whenever they were on camera. Many of the people there agreed that the hot lesbian action in the crowd was the best part. Charlie also got a nice round of cheers for his Seattle Mariners (major league baseball) jersey with the number 99 and name Vaughn on the back.
When the shows were first announced, we heard about venues selling out. We got tickets in the upper section of the arena in Everett fully expecting a full house. When show day rolled around, they were far from a sell-out. Ticket sales were so poor that they shut down the upper section and everyone with tickets up there had to wait in line to get new tickets for the bottom bowl. Yippee, free upgrade!! Even with the smaller arena, it wasn't a sellout though from what I read online, a lot of tickets that were purchased never showed up. The best part of it is that a lot of the professional ticket scalping companies lost a bundle of money by scooping up handfulls of tickets that nobody would buy.
The attendees were polarized in their opinions on how the show was. They either hated it or loved it. It seemed to depend heavily on your opinion of Charlie Sheen going into the event. If you went to see a train wreck, that's what you were given. If you went to see your favorite megalomaniac espouse his own version of wisdom, you got it. Everyone I was with hated it, and one of the people in my group even fell asleep during the show.
All-in-all, not worth the money unless you really, REALLY like Charlie Sheen.
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